The Perimenopause Husband
Perimenopause Dizziness: When She Needs to Lie Down
I came home once and the kids were in the kitchen.
No dinner on. They told me there wasn't any ready, and Mum was upstairs.
That was all they knew. They didn't know, then, that she was having dizzy spells.
And all she would ever say, that day or any of the others, was the same thing. I need to lie down. I'm not feeling well.
Can perimenopause make you dizzy?
In our house, yes. It was definitely one of them.
It tended to come in the middle of the day, or late in the afternoon.
On the way through to menopause, her body is going through a hormonal, biological change, and it shows up in places nobody warns you about. Dizziness turned up in the headaches story too, and that one has its own post. Her heart racing was a different thing again, on a different night. This is the afternoons.
When should she see a doctor or a specialist about dizziness?
Dizzy spells get checked. If they're new, if they're getting worse, if she falls, or if anything else comes with them, see a doctor or a specialist in this field.
In our house it sat on the same list as the headaches and the heart, and those went to the doctor, to a specialist and to emergency. Dizziness can have plenty of causes. On the list of what a husband actually notices, it's one of the ones you get looked at, not one you read about.
What did the kids see?
No dinner. Mum upstairs. That was the whole picture from the kitchen.
They weren't wrong. That is exactly what it looked like from where they stood. Nobody had given them anything else to go on.
My wife has never wanted to be a burden to anyone. So "I'm not feeling well" was as far as she'd go. Not the room moving. Not how bad it was. Just that she needed to lie down.
What did I miss?
I didn't know what I was walking into.
Not feeling well covers a lot of ground. A bug. A long day. A headache coming on. Those words don't tell you which one it is, and for a while I didn't push past them.
That's on me, not her. She gave the house the words she had. It was my job to find out what they meant.
What do I say when she needs to lie down?
Here's one of the tools. There are plenty.
Go. I've got it.
Four words, said straight away. Then have it.
Dinner is yours. The kids are yours. The phone, the washing, whatever was meant to happen tonight, all yours. No questions about what was planned. No asking how long she'll be. No "are you sure you're alright", hovering in the doorway.
Lying down shouldn't cost her anything. Not a meal that didn't get made, not a house that stops, not a list of questions on the way up the stairs.
Then, later, when she's up again, ask her what it was. That's how "not feeling well" turns into something you can take to a doctor or a specialist in this field.
Does it get easier?
Having a name for it helps. It doesn't stop it.
But a house where she can say I need to lie down and know it all keeps running is a different house to come home to. For her, and for the kids in the kitchen.
Start With the Weather
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